What did you say to him in Barcelona that can never be
forgiven?
LG: I can't tell you that. It wasn't really that
important anyway. I can't remember. I think he's making a bit of a mountain out
of a molehill. Brothers say them things to each other. It's been five years
now, he should shut the f**k up about it.
Bonehead, Alan White, Death In Vegas. Does Noel sack your
mates?
LG: I don't think Noel gave Death In Vegas a chance [the dance duo were dropped as
producers of Don't Believe the Truth in March 2004]. He was like, I'm off.
Noel's like Kevin Keegan. When the going gets tough, he runs off. But it was my
decision to have a word with Whitey. When you've had two years sat on your arse
you should turn up for work. When the Batphone goes, you gotta go.
But in 1996 you went house-hunting with a US tour about
to start.
LG: They can't sack me because then the band would be
shit. That's a fact. I know it's not politically correct, but that's just a
f**king fact. That c**t can't sack me.
Isn't all this "c**t" stuff a bit ridiculous?
What would he do if you took off the shades, fixed his gaze and said,
"You're my brother, I love you"?
LG: What the f**k's up with you, man? You on E, or
something? He'd tell me to get to f**k and behave myself. And I'd agree with
him and say. "it's that stupid c**t, he told me to say it." It wont
be happening.
Oh. I thought
you'd changed...
LG: Five years ago I didn't give a f**k about anything .
Now I'm happy. It's not a bad world. People like Thom Yorke and Chris Martin
moan too much. They should shut the f**k up and get to work. The streets are
clean. Most people have got a few quid in their pocket, it's alright.
When was the last time you cried?
LG: I don't f**king cry.
Not when the kids were born?
LG: I didn't cry then. I don't do any of that crying
business. And it's nothing to do with being f**king Superman.
What do you think Noel and Chris Martin talk about?
LG: [Wet, wimpy voice] The struggles of being a writer in
a big band. The struggles they had. It's bullshit. It's f**king easy. Get in
the studio and f**king work, and if it don't work, try harder. I should be
halfway round the world on tour now rockin' but we've taken ages to make this
f**king record.
You told me that after we talk you're going to church. Is
that true?
LG: I am! I'm gonna spend an hour with The Big One. I go
to a place in town. It's a place to think. I get a cab to drop me round the
corner. No one's gonna believe it were me even if they do get a photograph, are
they?
You're not really going to church, are you?
LG: Why not? I've always gone to church. I don't do
confession. I got nothing to confess. I'm practically a f**king saint. I don't
ask for things. I just think. I'm not a God-head. I spend an hour with The Big
One.
Noel has talked with Bono about God and is unconvinced.
Have you sought guidance?
LG: What can Bono tell me I don't know? I'm not looking
for guidance. There are days I believe and days I don't. And days I think,
"F**k the lot of them, I'm going for a Stella." And when I've had 10
of them I'm f**king God. F**k Bono. I don't need his guidance. He'd talk a
glass eye to sleep.
THREE DAYS LATER Oasis fly to Milan, where they play a
warm-up show at the 2800- capacity Alcatraz. At 6:30am, Liam Gallagher goes for
a walk. No Nicole Appleton, no minders, all by himself. He's already been to
the hotel's steam room but
quaintly doesn't like the way other male guests are just sitting there
"with their cocks hanging out". He makes for the city's cathedral
where several people double take at the lone worshipper , but soon satisfy
themselves that it really can't be him.
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